When new comers come into Ambrosia for the first time it can be a little overwhelming. But after being in world for a while you begin to notice a definite pattern. Not all noobs are created equal. Each noob is special because there is usually a real person behind each one. However, it’s so much more convenient to lump them into the following general categories:
Quiet Shy Noob – Generally stays in the background and observes what is going on around him. Feels out of place and intimidated by the people who look so much better than him. Reflects on the terrible quality of his noobiness. Wonders how he can get a job. Will generally not respond to greetings.
Loud Mouth Noob – generally a male who walks in and loudly announces that he has arrived and is ready to have sex with someone.  “Who wants it first?” Has no conception that there are actually real people behind the other side of the avatars one of whom could be a family member like his Aunt Fran from Wichita. Ewwwwww.
Noob who is not a noob – Comes in several varieties and this could be a person who has decided to make another avatar and be incognito. Usually they will buckle under questioning and reveal their non noobiness unless they have a hidden agenda such as spying on a mate or are planning on causing some sort of grief or drama.
Noob who thinks she’s hot -Â Usually about a day or two old with freebie shapes, skins and hooker heels who comes in and promptly starts drumming up business for her one day old escort service.
Inquisitive Noob - Enters dance party with 30 people all shouting gestures and asks how to open a box he has bought or where he can find a job/orgy. Usually drowned out after the first sentence but sometimes repeats the questions til answered. Hard to ignore! Finds himself clicking on every object in the club over and over again leading to green chat spam. The only hope is finding a patient dancer.
Underage Noob - Usually comes in asking for sex from the dancers. This noob can usually be identified through his use of abbreviated typing like: u r 2 hawt lol and a desire to engage in every vice known to mankind.
Judging Noob - This one comes in and judges everyone in the room saying things like “This is so stupid …we’re not really dancing; you people are idiots, its just a game…this is not real; you’re probably all fat in real life. Get a life” They are usually drowned our in chat from 20 enraged avatars before the next word comes out followed by a 300 meter plunge to the unreal ground.
Super Hot noob – This one comes in only 2 days old looking like the most gorgeous veteran wearing top of the line skin, shape and hair. Usually has over extended credit card and friends on the inside or is an alt. See Noob who is not an Noob above.
Noob in a rush – This one got off Help Island a little too soon. Usually seen running into the club at high speed carrying a torch or rave stix and slamming into everyone and everything for 2 minutes before finally vanishing in a twinkle of pixie dust.
Rezzmaster Noob – Walks in, starts dancing and decides to attach a house or car to his avatar. Usually realizes his mistake and totally freaks out.
So what kind of Noob were you? I was a quiet shy noob and spoke to no one for a few months.
Everyone usually falls into one of these categories…I am sure I have missed a few. Give me a shout out in comments if I have.
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