by Phil F. Kearny
I was recently handed this letter from Dusty Ayres, Ambrosia Dancer, that she recieved from a patron who wished to lodge a complaint about one of the staff members.
I have been reliable told that you are the owner of ambrosia dance club.
Unfurtunately i have to complain about a member of staff at your establishment
i have been coming to your club for several months now, but last week i was there a member of your staff, i believe her name was Pepper ( short, blonde, 4 legs), attacked me and left me with a very nasty case of fleas.I have tried various remedies to remove them and have even hired chimpanzee to hunt them down, but to no avail….i have sought further medical help, and have been advised to wash daily with insecticide…which has had the unfortunate side effect of turning my skin blue…which is all well and good if i want to be a smurf, or a navi.
My lawyers have i advised i seek compensation….for such a serious incident they advise a sum of $1 linden….to be paid immediately, and the employee in question to be shaved and treated post haste, so as to prevent any further cases of infestation.
However i digress. My point is that i feel you should inspect all staff prior to employment at your club…for lice fleas ticks ect.
Regards,
a very blue & itchy miss mcandrews :P
Miss Mcandrews, I can assure you Pepper is a pest-free staff member since she receives the finest veterinary care available. She is bathed weekly in Sassy Tiger Coat Flea and Tick Shampoo which kills fleas and ticks, ends snarls and tangles, and leaves Pepper smelling as fresh and clean as a spring day. I can not say the same for the rest of the staff since they take care of their own personal hygiene. I hypothesize that it could be possible that you attracted fleas from your attendance at another venue such as that pestilent hellhole “Dance Island” prior to your visit to Ambrosia. I have forwarded your complaint to my attorney and you should expect a reply within the next year.
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