Ambrosia Dance Club

When you first arrive in the wondrous world of Second Life, everything is fresh and new. So much to see and do and explore- people to meet, live shows and amazing builds to admire. You arrive at the Ambrosia Dance Club. Wow Djs, hot avatars dancing in the latest fashions. This is great. It feels like being in a real life club. Then after a while the illusion can be shattered by certain behaviors. Annoying things that start to gnaw on you. People who insist on inflicting their personal fantasies on others. I have listed a few of them here.

1. Baby Scripts – The ones that spam the screen with green script every minute or so announcing how baby is hungry and needs vitamins or wants to gnaw its way out of mommies belly and greet everyone in the club. When you ask people to remove it they act as if you want to commit some sort of pixel abortion on them. It’s a script people!

2. Child Avis – I really don’t mind them as long as they follow the simple rule of children should be seen and not heard. Once they get in open chat and start saying things like, ” Hewwo, my name is CawolAnn and i am Thweee years old, TeeHeeHee” its time to pull the trap door. You want to be a child avatar? That’s great, but it is a school night. Get to bed right now young lady.

3. Furries – Ok so this guy wants to be a chipmunk on steroids. As long as he is human sized and does not go around giving everyone virtual rabies, what is the harm? It’s the ones who actually act like animals, running around the club like a dog chasing a frisbee at the beach are promptly sent to the kennels.

4. Vampires – These come in several varieties. “Spampires, that are sucked into the profit making vampire games and go around collecting “blood’ from unsuspecting newcomers in the club by asking to “bite” them and then the genuine necromancers who I think actually really do drink blood in real life. Both are extremely annoying and universally despised by everyone except other bloodsuckers. Apparently, they have some sort of union.

5. Policeman – People who dress up in uniform claiming to be some sort of law enforcement. They go around the club asking people for ID and stuff. Go get a donut – you are not a cop and no one is listening to you.

6. Jobseekers – No, not your normal run of the mill note card givers. The ones that walk in the club and shout out in public chat “Hey i Need a Job where is the owner!” Imagine walking into a crowded nightclub with a megaphone and trying that stunt. Actually it might be funny enough to land you a job.

7. Beggars – They walk into the club and IM every person asking for some sum of money. Can you loan me 12 L? This is actually a pretty lucrative business model. If out of 40 people you get a 25% success rate you are looking at a quick 120 Lindens. You kind of have to admire their entrepreneurial chutzpah. They still get sent to the bottom of the ocean.

8. ScreenSpammers – Attention seeking whores who insist like pressing the F key like a monkey on crack, filling the screen up with gigantic Hooos that blast the eardrums of anyone silly enough to have local sounds enabled. When asked to curtail their behavior many get offended saying, “Hey I was just trying to have a good time and show my enthusiasm and appreciation.” The problem is that your good time = everyone else’s bad time. Stay home in your skybox and have a good time by pressing HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 11,000 times. Do you really need an audience for that?

9. Those Godamn Neko Pawprints – I have already gotten past the idea that you are a cat. Fine. You are a cat. What I initially thought was untrimmed pubic hair coming out from between your legs is actually a cat tail. What I can’t stand is the trail of footprints you are leaving on the nice waxed floor. It takes forever to clean it up. I thought cats were supposed to be clean!

10. The Lovey Dovey couples – The ones that must proclaim their everlasting allegiance to each other in open chat every 30 seconds. What purpose does it serve to do this. To vindicate your choice in partners to the world? To highlight to everyone how happy you are and how miserable everyone else is? Love in Second Life is a great thing and if you are truly in love with your cartoon partner then both of you already know it. Why the need to advertise?

I just realized i can go on and on and add another dozen easy to this list. Perhaps you can add your own in comments. I am sure you have a few on your own.