Ambrosia Dance Club

Ambrosia Dance Club is a great place to interact with other people and meet someone new. Friendships have developed on the dance floor at Ambrosia that have gone on to full blown RL relationships and even marriage.

First impressions are important. Many guys will come in to meet women and intiate a conversation with the all purpose, “Hello”, in IM. Others are far more inventive in their opening lines, showing that there is no limit to the ingenuity of the horny male. I asked various female patrons about different lines they have heard from guys and here are a few of the results:

[9:56] Skip334 Galana: Hello there, I would like to talk to you and give you my full attention… I don’t know if that sounds selfish or horrible but fact is fact :) I have been hard for you all day now. Out of my control. You are perfect.

This line did not work whatsoever.

[17:17] screwu Foxdale: babi ur hot women
[17:18] Summerr Hillburton: I find your pale pasty noob skin very attractive as well
[17:20] screwu Foxdale: i like mak sex with u how can do
[17:20] Summerr Hillburton: mak sex with me
[17:20] screwu Foxdale: yea
[17:21] Summerr Hillburton: How about i feed your testicles into a wheat thresher instead?
[17:21] screwu Foxdale: owwwwww
[17:21] screwu Foxdale: ur lesbian

Shot down in flames so she must be a lesbian.

[11:36] Farley Ryerson: I cannot help but notice you dancing alone in the corner. I see sadness in your eyes. You need a man in your life. I am that man. Open the door.

Poetic but no result

[19:57] V1nce Arabello: hi
[19:58] V1nce Arabello: yr hot
[19:58] cinnamonsin Edenflower: thank you
[20:00] V1nc eArabello: can i f..k u?
[20:00] cinnamonsin Edenflower: no

Total Fail

by Phil F. Kearny

I have played a lot of video games growing up. But Second Life is unlike any other game ever. It’s the only game that will cause you to start laughing uproariously out loud in real life. Stupid things will happen in Ambrosia and suddenly you are roaring with laughter out loud. A true LOL. A noob walks in wearing no clothes and a box on his head. Someone sets him on fire. Its hilarious. You laugh like a hyena while staring at a computer screen.

Naturally that is the moment some family member of friend comes to look over your shoulder and say “What’s so funny on the computer? Can I see?” And then you have to laboriously explain that there is a guy with the flashing bling dildo running around poking everyone on the dance floor prior to being set on fire and ejected to plummet into the cold ocean below. They just look at you and shake their heads in incredulity. Such is the price of SL addiction. The stiffs just don’t get it.

Here is something that is annoying lately. I run Viewer 2 which contrary to what most people say is not a tool created by Satan himself to destroy SL forever. It just does not have a lot of the nifty little features that the ubiquitous Emerald Viewer has such as “who is looking at me”. That is right, Emerald Viewer will set up a little crosshair to show who is looking where on the screen. Viewer 2.0 does not have this feature. The Dancers love it because they can see who is oggling them. But every once in a while i will get an IM now. Phil, why are you looking at my ass? And I say to them, Whaa? I am looking at the entire club filled with people and somehow my camera has centered on someone’s meaty pixel bum. I quickly explain my meaty pixel bum obsession and try to move my view elsewhere.

We have been having a lot of fun lately in the club and you need to come on by and visit up with all your old friends. Feel free to center your camera on their private parts. It can make someones day.

When you first arrive in the wondrous world of Second Life, everything is fresh and new. So much to see and do and explore- people to meet, live shows and amazing builds to admire. You arrive at the Ambrosia Dance Club. Wow Djs, hot avatars dancing in the latest fashions. This is great. It feels like being in a real life club. Then after a while the illusion can be shattered by certain behaviors. Annoying things that start to gnaw on you. People who insist on inflicting their personal fantasies on others. I have listed a few of them here.

1. Baby Scripts – The ones that spam the screen with green script every minute or so announcing how baby is hungry and needs vitamins or wants to gnaw its way out of mommies belly and greet everyone in the club. When you ask people to remove it they act as if you want to commit some sort of pixel abortion on them. It’s a script people!

2. Child Avis – I really don’t mind them as long as they follow the simple rule of children should be seen and not heard. Once they get in open chat and start saying things like, ” Hewwo, my name is CawolAnn and i am Thweee years old, TeeHeeHee” its time to pull the trap door. You want to be a child avatar? That’s great, but it is a school night. Get to bed right now young lady.

3. Furries – Ok so this guy wants to be a chipmunk on steroids. As long as he is human sized and does not go around giving everyone virtual rabies, what is the harm? It’s the ones who actually act like animals, running around the club like a dog chasing a frisbee at the beach are promptly sent to the kennels.

4. Vampires – These come in several varieties. “Spampires, that are sucked into the profit making vampire games and go around collecting “blood’ from unsuspecting newcomers in the club by asking to “bite” them and then the genuine necromancers who I think actually really do drink blood in real life. Both are extremely annoying and universally despised by everyone except other bloodsuckers. Apparently, they have some sort of union.

5. Policeman – People who dress up in uniform claiming to be some sort of law enforcement. They go around the club asking people for ID and stuff. Go get a donut – you are not a cop and no one is listening to you.

6. Jobseekers – No, not your normal run of the mill note card givers. The ones that walk in the club and shout out in public chat “Hey i Need a Job where is the owner!” Imagine walking into a crowded nightclub with a megaphone and trying that stunt. Actually it might be funny enough to land you a job.

7. Beggars – They walk into the club and IM every person asking for some sum of money. Can you loan me 12 L? This is actually a pretty lucrative business model. If out of 40 people you get a 25% success rate you are looking at a quick 120 Lindens. You kind of have to admire their entrepreneurial chutzpah. They still get sent to the bottom of the ocean.

8. ScreenSpammers – Attention seeking whores who insist like pressing the F key like a monkey on crack, filling the screen up with gigantic Hooos that blast the eardrums of anyone silly enough to have local sounds enabled. When asked to curtail their behavior many get offended saying, “Hey I was just trying to have a good time and show my enthusiasm and appreciation.” The problem is that your good time = everyone else’s bad time. Stay home in your skybox and have a good time by pressing HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 11,000 times. Do you really need an audience for that?

9. Those Godamn Neko Pawprints – I have already gotten past the idea that you are a cat. Fine. You are a cat. What I initially thought was untrimmed pubic hair coming out from between your legs is actually a cat tail. What I can’t stand is the trail of footprints you are leaving on the nice waxed floor. It takes forever to clean it up. I thought cats were supposed to be clean!

10. The Lovey Dovey couples – The ones that must proclaim their everlasting allegiance to each other in open chat every 30 seconds. What purpose does it serve to do this. To vindicate your choice in partners to the world? To highlight to everyone how happy you are and how miserable everyone else is? Love in Second Life is a great thing and if you are truly in love with your cartoon partner then both of you already know it. Why the need to advertise?

I just realized i can go on and on and add another dozen easy to this list. Perhaps you can add your own in comments. I am sure you have a few on your own.