We all share certain things in common. Things that transcend international barriers and customs. We all love food and we most of us certainly love sex. If you follow open chat in the Ambrosia Dance Club you will notice that the conversation will often alternate with frequency between these two subjects.
One of the pitfalls of being in the virtual world is the long hours spent sitting on your hindside watching your pixel self gyrating in the club flexing six pack abs. In the meantime, many are clutching a bag of Cheetos in real life wondering why they cant lose weight.
I have run across a great book that explains many of the psychological reasons behind overeating and how the food industry manipulates these forces in order to sell more product. Dr David Kessler MD, the author of “The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite” , served as commissioner of the US Food and Drug Administration under presidents George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton. He is a pediatrician and has been the dean of the medical schools at Yale and the University of California, San Francisco.
He actually dove into dumpsters outside of chain restaurants to retrieve lists of ingredients in the foods we commonly eat. This is a fascinating read and I highly recommend it.
Hello newcomer! So you decided to try out Second Life. Perhaps you heard about from a friend or saw a shocking documentary on the Oprah channel about the freak who inhabit this virtual world. No matter which pathway brought you here, here you are.
What’s next? Well, most people after their initial obligatory visit to the nude beach ( I have no idea why this happens – it just seems that that all noobies feel a pressing need to see naked cartoon people ) will eventually want to visit a Second Life club. They somehow find their was to Ambrosia Dance Club and instantly identify themselves by their nooberiffic actions. These include, but are not limited to:
- A love of all things Bling
Striding in to the club sporting bling shoes, bling rings, bling earrings,bling dollars signs,and bling dongs is a sure sign of noobocity. For unknown reasons, noobs are drawn to anything bling like parrots to a bright shiny object. Skip this step now. Just say NO to bling.
- Asking in General Chat “Hey what is there to do here?”
This is a silly question and will be most likely met with uinversal scorn and derision by the VIPs. It is a dance club and as such you hang out on the dance floor, listen to music and touch one of the dance balls to start dancing. Nothing could be simpler. For the speech challenged, typing is not even required. Only the ability to hit F Keys like a monkey with gestures like “Hoo La la I live this tune!”
- Flying into the club and flying around the dance floor
While it is fine to avoid the soul depleting march of death from the far end of the sim by flying into the club, once you arrive on the dance floor you should immediately hit page down. Noobs are notorious for flying around the dance floor like Tinkerbell on angel dust.
- Friending people without talking to them.
Noobs for some reason believe that a veteran Sler will accept the dreaded Random Friendship Offer (RFO). This is not Facebook. Most residents will eye you with utmost suspicion convinced that you are a stalking alt and most likely mute you forever. You will most likely be dropped into the ocean if you friend multiple staff members.
- Asking in open chat “if anyone want to dance with you”
This is akin to getting a megaphone in real life and walking into a club and asking if anyone wants to dance with you. It’s likely you will end up on a pink dance ball pinned up against the wall with some giant named Lars. Be more subtle and use IM. The key is to talk to people first and be rejected personally and one at a time.
- Wearing that blue striped prison shirt from 2010
You are not a noob you are an alt. We know this. Change immediately.
If you are truly a noob, your best course of action is to stay low for a few visits. Observe what’s going on around you. Learn to dance ( click ball on stage – dance. Not too difficult) and try not to draw too much attention to yourself. Noobs who come on strong are usually but not always shunned depending of course on their entertainment value. Again, the parallels to real life are like visiting a foreign country or a bar in West Virginia and acting like you own the joint. Its most likely you will end the night driven off laying across the hood of a pick up truck like a gutted deer.
What is the best way to get to the Ambrosia Dance Club? Getting shot out of a cannon of course. Why walk or even fly when you have the convenience of being blasted out of our conveniently placed artillery device that will plant you dead center of the dance floor each and every time.
Bevylee Loxley demonstrates the technique for a quick and maybe not so graceful entrance to the club. Thank you so much for your unquestioning faith in my aim Bevylee!
As an Ambrosia dancer and frankly being female, I’ve come across various way that guys try to flirt or hit on a girl. It may be called giving a compliment occasionally, but most of the time it’s the attempts to try and flirt or get in a girl’s pants that end up going down the toilet, and possibly their heads when the girl’s boyfriend hears what happened. Upon polling several girls I received different accounts which are featured below.
Some examples of what NOT to do:
Example 1:
Guy: Greetings
Guy: you look so cute and pretty that i would clean the soles of your shoes kissing them if you ask for it
Girl: hi
Girl: uh
Girl: wow
Girl: lol
Guy: didnt want to bother
Guy: I am just impressed looking at you
Girl: ty, i think
Guy: I have never seen a shoes like yours
Guy: i feel i would like to be your dancefloor
[00:00] Inventory item offered
Girl: you can get some for you. laughs
Guy: Guy received your inventory offer.
Guy: sorry…
Guy: i am a sl photographer
Guy: i do would love taking photos of you
Guy: no porn, i am an artist :))
Girl: no, thank you:)
Guy: you are welcome
Guy: will you kick me with your heels?
Girl: lol, no
Girl: why would i?
Guy: to make me happy
Guy: :))
Example 2:
Guy: mmm..dam baby you look good
Guy: you got some sxy moves
Girl: thanks
Guy: np
Guy: but what I want to know is
Guy: do you move likw that in bed?
Girl:…
Example 3:
Random Guy: dick service?
Example 4:
Guy: hi..
Girl: hi there, how r ya
Guy: m gud…
Guy: wanna have sex?
Girl: little forward arn’t u
Guy: ppl say so..
Guy: do u ?
Girl: ok so who r u
Girl: a noob??
Guy: nooob?
Girl: new person to sl
Guy: yup..
Girl: where r u hiding
Guy: ?
Guy: yes ?
Girl: I see u now
Girl: u need to take your dick off
Guy: so…
Girl: ty
Guy: u made up ur mind?
Girl: thank
Girl: s, but no thanks doll
Guy: its ok…
Guy: o ty … im abt to leave… but i wud love to learn how to..
Girl: well do a search plenty of places u can go to
Recent Comments