The dancers and bartenders at the clubs are a special breed. Their job consists of greeting everyone who walks through the door, moderating the chat and making sure that the next entertainer is in place. They come in thinking it will be a great job meeting all sorts of interesting people. They have high hopes and expectations – only to see them cruelly dashed by a never ending army of random douchebags.

Yet another douchebag alt.

The dancers have to enforce the rules. To a degree they do so. Sometimes, they will let certain things slide just like a real policeman, and look the other way if a person walks in who is dressed on the edge of propriety. If a person’s clothing is not up to the club dress code the dancers will ask them to change into something more fitting with the clubs style. Most will cheerfully comply with the request. Occasionally this conversation will occur.

[10:00] ღƊąჭჭѕ : Hello, I can’t help but notice, but your genitals are exposed, You can come back once you get some clothes on
[10:00] KorneHolEr: no
[10:00] ღƊąჭჭѕ : then dont come back, its all good
[10:00] KorneHolEr: fuck your pussy

Oh dear, well this was a polite request wasn’t it? But it went so ugly so fast. This poor dancer has to now put up with the sort of abuse that would be shocking in a real life setting. It is likely that KorneHolEr in the real world is a mild mannered nebbish accountant. Feeling the power of anonymity on the interwebs he turns into Captain Douchebag who can run around a crowded dance floor stabbing people with his outsizes genitals. Then he runs into a person with authority, the dreaded dancer. A person who can banish him and his 200 douchebag alts over and over again with impunity. So he lashes out.

The dancers for the most part develop a very thick skin to this type of abuse. They hear it everyday. Some dancers crack under the pressure of being accosted by these hairbags day in and day out. Others relish the opportunity to send them spinning into the ocean on fire. “Go ahead, make my day”.

Here are the top things to say to a dancer to get you a one way ticket to the ocean:

Irina – Someone told me ” I will pay you 500 L to see your downstairs”

Melony – I got called a cunt for ejecting them bc they were flying then running into people then flying wouldn’t stop so i ejected them… yeah got put on mute

Liz – “Your Dj is talking too much”

Gabby – “My husband owns Second Life and I’ll have your account deleted”

Ivoni – ” my sister works at Linden Lab and i’ll make sure, she will have your account deleted FOREVER!”

Mercy – “you’re racist for not letting little blue pony people come in”

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Posted in Random Rants

What’s in a name? That which we call a noob by any other name would be just as moronic.

by Veronika Skinstad

After an extended absence from Second Life, I have returned like the prodigal dancer to inflict my joie de vivre on unsuspecting avatars everywhere.  Everyone keeps telling me that getting back into the swing of things in SL is like riding a bike.  In the few days I’ve been back, I may have worked myself back up to tricycle level (or maybe even big wheel level)!

One new thing, well besides mesh, is the advent of the Display Name.  Based on what I’ve seen, the definition of Display Name is any word in a fancy font that looks cool but is totally illegible.  Over voice, I would probably insert a carefully placed cough where the person’s name should go, but as a dancer, I kind of have to try to type out the person’s name.  Epic fail.  Maybe I will do what my great uncle did and just call everyone “kiddo” (although I am fairly certain that was because he was extremely intoxicated the vast majority of the time).

Something that hasn’t changed is the wide variety of names in Second Life, although I do admit that I am feeling outnumbered by “Residents.”  I have noticed common themes among avatars, including but not limited to :

1.    Food Names
Even in the Ambrosia family we have a dancer named Mayonnaise, a DJ named Jelly Bean and a retailer named Candy.  I like to imagine how the names were chosen.  To me, the best thing about mayonnaise is that it’s tangy, goes well with meat and is rich and creamy.  Jelly beans are delicious and make me happy.  Candy is sweet, addictive and makes me come back for more.  Emmma Soup is suspiciously close to “mmmm….soup.”  Frankly even talking about food names makes my mouth water, except for Lutefisk Merriwhether and Haggis Silversmith.  I did go a little crazy when I met Brisket Dreamscape.

2.    Intangible character aspects, virtues and principles
Ambrosia retailer Dangerous Rage sells some pretty sweet shoes.  Just don’t piss her off.  DJ exstaacy definitely has a name that makes me want to tune in.  SL has plenty of Faiths, Loves and Harmonies.  I was surprised to find out that there are even some Gluttonies out there.  I have yet to happen upon a Tedium although there are also plenty of Ennuis (I guess a more well-versed brand of individuals frequents Second Life).

3.     Humor
JustABartender never needs an introduction and will never be mistaken for a paleontologist.  Many of our Ambrosians have wonderful senses of humor.  I’m not sure if Nubbers Ivercourt is supposed to be funny but saying it aloud 3 times fast makes me burst into giggles.   Dubstep Cowboy brings to mind a man in chaps riding a giant sub woofer.

4.    Huh?
Some names are just totally incomprehensible.  I think that perhaps the accounts were created by trained monkeys, although I suppose that trained monkeys would probably be more coherent..  If your name has more consonants than vowels and Ubykh isn’t your native language, you may want to reconsider it. Onomatopoeia is a clever literal device in poetry but please don’t make me “oooooooooo” to say your name.  That’s why I broke up with my boyfriend Plunk Splashback.  Lastly, if your name ends in a number, it just makes me think that there were that many people more unimaginative than you:  John324456.

Whatever your name is, come to Ambrosia for fun, fashion, friends, music and more!

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Posted in Random Rants

Valentine’s Red Party Thursday Feb 14

It is that time of year again when cupids fly around and shoot arrows into everyone’s ass. Oh yes, it is Valentines day. Our amazing Romantic Dance Venue, GRIND, will be hosting the Valentine’s RED Party. The dress code is come in Red White or Black. But mostly red if you can pull that off. Prizes will be awarded for looking posh and we will have giveaways and gift cards from our amazing retailers.

This event will take place at two times to accomodate the differing time zones. Come at 2 PM or come at 8 PM and show us the romance.

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Posted in Events

It is great to see old friends

Ambrosia Dance Club has now been in operation for over 6 years and during that time many people have come and gone through our doors. Some stay for a minute and others for years and years. It is wonderful to see people from the past who for whatever reason come back and stop in to say hello. Often the only working landmark they have in their inventories will be to the Ambrosia Dance Club. Klub Stoopid has long since passed into oblivion and all their former friends have for the most part either left SL or moved on to another avatar to commit more drama.

SO big shout-outs to Cooper our Bartender who returned from a long hiatus to come back and shake-shake-shake it a bit with the Ambrosians and also to the Ambrosia Secretary Veronika who popped in to say hello. People come and people go but it’s great to have a sense of continuity, community and a shared experience. And I think that Ambrosia over the years has provided that for people.

There are so many memories from the past. Everyone who was there that night remembers when we put 40 people in a 10 x 10 prim box and called it Club Plywood.

Or the good old days when we would just hang out at Coopers Corner Bar in the club.

Or dancing on the “Lime Jelly” dance balls.

So many great memories from the past. And we are working hard on creating new memories for you now in the future.

Posted in Random Rants
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