Ambrosia Dance Club

by Phil F. Kearny

A male patron recently came into the venue clutching a handbag. Now, forget the fact that it’s a guy with a purse and the fact that most of the guys that I know would rather hold an irate Gaboon Viper than a woman’s handbag, the SL handbag may be the most useless fashion accessory in Second Life because you cant put anything in it like in the real world. Now I have seen the contents of real handbags. It is one of the storage wonders of the world that so many things can be stuffed into such a finite space. There are some sort of bizarre Quantum physics in play here that allow hundreds of pounds of paraphernalia to be crammed into a hand-held object that can be carried by a lilliputian woman in strappy 5 inch heels. The NASA people should really look into this.

Have you ever seen someone empty out the contents of their handbag on a table? Keys, credit cards, makeup, cell phones, feminine hygiene products, small furry pets and god knows what else spew forth in a never-ending volcano from its cavernous maw like the BP oil well in the Gulf of Mexico.

So this avatar started dancing on the floor flailing his handbag around as it remained attached to his hand. A discussion commenced on the uselessness of the handbag. Why have a handbag in Second Life? As a matter of fact, why have anything? Do we really need bodies, clothes, houses, cars, virtual flushing 3 D toilets? Really, at the base of it all, isn’t Second Life just a glorified chat room?

I think the real benefit that we receive from ability to display all of these accessories and accouterments is that we give others visual clues as to the personality of the real person behind the cartoon avatar. Perhaps, a guy with a Manbag is saying, ” Hey world look at me I have the confidence in myself to buck social norms to carry around a traditionally female accessory regardless of the inevitable taunts and jabs i will inevitably receive.”

People do judge books by their cover so when you appear as a frog or a robot dragon people form an opinion of you based on that. Why is this person a frog? Is he just flippant and fun loving ? Does he have something hide. Is this a griefer? Why is this person wearing fluorescent purple spikes and leather ear flaps ? What subculture is he/she/it part of?

People wear all these useless things to make a statement about who they are. Therefore, the handbag and the toilet serve important functions. Would the die-hard Second Lifer like to go back to a Yahoo or MSN chat room after having an immersive 3D experience? I think the answer is a resounding no.

Conventional chat does not provide the visual cues about a person that an SL avatar and environment does. And there are no pink and blue balls. ‘Nuff said.

by Lu Beeswing

Ambrosia is at risk of prosecution from the advertising standards agency after sending a notice advertising DJ Viv’s Anti-soccer PARTY when by half time this was the true state of affairs!

The mood started very Anti-soccer but the Brits soon pulled out their St George flags, not surprisingly, they were quickly followed by even bigger American flags… typical!

‘Ickleybit Kish: English flags up in the air!!! GO ENGLAND’

‘Stone Kenyon: smiles our flags are bigger than yours too’

When the official count was taken England were in the lead with the most flags on the dance floor and I am sure that the Ambrosia support helped England score the first goal!

After England’s first goal Stone Kenyon was soon pulled up for a yellow card for using his ‘Weeeee’ gesture to take down all the Brits on the dance floor!

The gorgeous Ambrosia Dancers quickly found their patriotic outfits from their bottomless inventories and partied until full time!

And the final score… a draw, so it would seem USA and England are equally matched with talent. We are still left to wonder if this is the same on and off the pitch?

Sometimes, people kind of just disappear. One likes to think of Second Life as a static place where you can come and hang out with friends and acquaintances every day and things stay the same and all is wonderful. But that is not how it works at all. Second Life is a fluid world where people can and do just vanish without a trace. In the Real World, police would be notified, the person’s face would go on a milk carton,and an attempt would be made to find the missing party. But here, people just go poof -and never are heard from again.

The longer you stay in SL they more you find this to be true. Occasionally, a person will vanish for a year or so and suddenly resurface. “Oh, I had quintuplets in Real Life and they take up a bit of my time now.” Well maybe you could have dropped us a note and ended the speculation that you were abducted by Watusi Tribesman on your supposed Safari to Africa. The trouble is that you don’t really know who is full of it when you talk to them. People have been known to fabricate complete lies when they talk about their non virtual persona. Some have even staged their own RL death and only to magically reincarnate themselves as an alt!

The ones left behind can be traumatized wondering what happened to their buddy. Many Ambrosians are still pondering the fate of our bartender Cooper who just vanished without a trace a year ago. Is he drinking Pina Coloda’s with super models on a desert island? Was he sold to a Saudi Sheik as a sex slave? Is he holding up a cardboard sign on the side of a road that says, “I will pour drinks for food”? It is most likely that we will never know. And maybe that is better.

What causes a person to just choose to poof out with out telling a soul? It could be a multitude of reasons relating to real and second life or a combination of both. It could be sheer boredom with the virtual world. Sometimes, the weight of the drama that people create around them becomes so crushing that they are left with little choice but to press delete and just walk away.
And maybe that is a good thing. Imagine if our real lives came with a Do Over button. I suspect that a lot of people would be pushing it.